[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

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It isn't the same anymore PT 1[[ Words in italics usually means it's a memory, dream or a thought. When someone is thinking to themselves, 'I put it in quotation like this' pretty much everything else is easy to figure out.... ]]
"Marissa, I have something important to tell you... Er, ask you...." Maurice patted his hand softly on Marissa's shoulder and knelt down.
Her white dress and thick, red-orange hair flowed elegantly in the wind.
He looked up at Marissa's large, glowing, teal coloured eyes as he inhaled deeply.
She was scared about what he had to say. Sure, they had a few arguments every now and then, but every couple does, right? That wouldn't mean taking her to a beautiful ocean, all day having fun, an

My best friendSitting in a bedroom
All alone on Valentines day
Sitting at the computer
Watching my best friend Wither away
Watching the living corpse of my closest pet rat
Breathing heavily, Crawling slowly toward me
My saddened soul forces my arms forward to help him over to my couch
As I lay down, allowing the boy to crawl freely
Barely eating, refusing every meal he stays atop the box in his house
On a diet of only water every few minutes, no substantial nutrients
What I thought was hatred toward the rat I soon found out was hidden love
And now I refuse to let go of what's mine, I don't give life my consent
I only knew him for about a year or two, but we grew such a strong bond
I came over recently, we let him out and he crawled to me
on my lap, bit my rings and fingernails to pull my hands under him
holding him, protecting him, caressing him, saving him finally calming
Sadness overcame when his "tumor" popped
He was more active for a coupe of days after that
but not again
He is still not the sam

My Favourite ColourSlowly trickling down the walls
dripping carefully through my slitted fingers
forming a small river through the halls
in my hands is where the blood lingers
Dancing elegantly from weapon to floor
shining magically under the night's gleaming
When I raise my blade you will be no more
Thick red beauty, you're no longer breathing
Beautiful rich blood colored mahogany
like my hair, flowing, shining beautifly
the reason you're now pretty ties to your wronging me
the spattered beauty arranged brilliantly
My favorite color is one that you'd dread
My favorite color has to be red

Tainted SoulsWHY CAN'T I SEEM TO GET ANYTHING RIGHT?! EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST SHOVES ME DOWN, DEEPER INTO THE BLACK CONSUMING ABYSS OF CONFUSION, WRAPPING THEIR LONG,SLINKY ARMS AROUND ME. PULLING ME IN DEEPER. I TRY TO STRUGGLE FREE, BUT CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE MY MOVES STRONG ENOUGH. I SCREAM TO THE DARKNESS "I GOTTA LET GO... I NEED TO GET OUT, LET ME FREE... I-I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE" I DON'T KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED IN RETURN.
THE ARMS LET ME GO AS I FELL INTO A BLACK ROOM. I HIT THE FLOOR HARD, FLAT ON MY FRONT. I LET OUT A LOUD COUGH AND SCOOTED UP TO A SITTING POSITION. THE FLOOR DISSOLVED FROM UNDER ME, AND I WAS LEFT FLOATING IN A DARK ROOM, WITH A DARK PURPLE MIST SURROUNDING. THE LIGHTING WAS VERY DIM AND PURPLE TINTED. I HEAR THE WHISPERS GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER. THEY FEEL SO CLOSE, THEIR BREATH TOUCHES MY NECK AS THEY WHISPER "END IT NOW. YOUR PAIN WILL BE FREED" I SCREAM LOUDLY, CRYING OUT WISHING TO FIND AWAY TO FREEDOM. I HOLD MY HANDS TIGHTLY TO MY CHEST AND SCRE

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Submitted: February 14
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Just Because I'm Different

Journal Entry: Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:14 AM

People say I should die, or discontinue this self-mutilation

I say I like it, it feels great and looks nice

I don't know why, it feels so good

Get's my mind off my troubles

Puts me in a better mood

They call me "emo"
And proceed to call me names

They say I'd be better off dead
I walk away in shame

It's not my fault, I am who I am

It's happened in time, due to your nasty ways

You helped form this monster you say I am

I believed the words you've claimed

I crawl onto my bed, tears forming at my ducts
With my glistening friends in my cold, shaking hand
And slowly begin to drift off
Into a much more pleasant land

Back to reality, I glare towards the mirror, towards this monsterous figure
Stepped back and let my tears fly

Waiting flooded with anticipation for the day
In which I will finally die

Skin by : Wonderquarium

12 Comments

Skin by *Wonderquarium

Just Because I'm Differentby ~Lena-Uchiha8

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 1 1

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~D4rk0n May 1, 2013 New member

yup they call me emo too... screw them all!

~bobisawsome1000 Feb 14, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

I can't imagine feeling that you can't wait to die, if you need to talk about anything you can tell me and i'll help you through it if you want.

~Lena-Uchiha8 Feb 14, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I don't really have anything going on that I can tyalk about.
I'm relieving my pain and such with stories and poems..........
It's how I vent.
I don't like talking to people very much, so I just write.
Or draw....

~bobisawsome1000 Feb 14, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

Ok, I understand. Well if you ever need someone to talk to, or just anything, tell my and i'll help you (as long as I have my computer with me, wherever I am) and have a wonderful Valentines day

~Lena-Uchiha8 Feb 14, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Alright then, thank you
C:

~bobisawsome1000 Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

no problem

~bobisawsome1000 Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

no problem

~Lena-Uchiha8 Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Double post~!!

~bobisawsome1000 Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

Sorry, sometimes my computer does that

~Lena-Uchiha8 Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

lol oh

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